I love walking on the beach. Enjoy the birds and ocean waves dancing to Mother Nature’s choreography!
Vivi’s VLog: Birds and Ocean Waves 🙂
Boundaries. I wasn’t wearing one of those over my newborn birthday suit when my mom popped me out under the glaring hospital lights. And as Dad was a rager, and Mom held in her emotions while trying to appease Dad and keep us kids safe, I found out early on that not rocking the boat was a way to feel somewhat protected. Not rocking the boat included nodding my head a lot, keeping out of the way, and not using the word NO. From childhood to teenagehood to adulthood, I remember going from zero boundaries to walls quite suddenly at times, without explanation. People around me would be puzzled or shocked, as would I. And I’d feel ashamed and wrong without knowing why.
Although it’s taken quite a while and lots of inner work, these days I’m more comfortable practicing my boundary setting muscles with myself and others when needed. Of course, it’s still a work in progress. But, the truth be told, I’ve been practicing setting so many boundaries lately that sometimes I get really, really tired of it and I daydream about knights and vacations and bouncers. Yes, from time to time I daydream about finding a bouncer (maybe on Craig’s List). A boundary bouncer. An energy boundary bouncer. A big, strong, expert energy boundary bouncer who can smell, catch, and send on their way even the most subtle energy boundary crashers from a mile off.
Here’s something that happened one evening when I was tired and hungry and needing just such a bouncer to stand outside the door and ward off any and all energy boundary crashers:
While a few friends and I were at a restaurant for dinner, a woman (who knew one of our group) joined us. I kid you not, as she approached I felt the energy around us go dense and heavy straightaway. I also sensed my feet and legs rev up like little gas pedals, raring and ready to jump up and whoosh me away from there. Then the thoughts came into it, and that shushed my feet and legs back down under the table: It’s just dinner, Vivi. You gotta eat. You already ordered. Relax. The woman ended up sitting herself right down beside me, and my stomach churned a bit. My nose started to tickle too, so I turned my head away, covered my nose, and sneezed as discretely as I could. She said she had a tissue. I told her thanks but I didn’t need one. She insisted I blow my nose and reached hard and fast for her holster…oops…I mean her purse. She told me she worked as a nanny and really knew about these things. She used to work for an allergist/allergy center and there would be consequences to sniffing back my sniffles, so I should take the tissue now and blow my nose. She proceeded to describe in some detail what happens if you go down the road of sniffing back your sniffle. I thanked her for the information and her concern and repeated no thank you (also noting that the sneeze in question was dry and therefore sans sniffle). Her eyes shot daggers my way. My lower extremities were readying themselves once again for a quick getaway from the table. Then dinner came, and boy did that look delicious. The aromas were irresistible, even with the excellent description of the sniffed back sniffles and their effects still hovering in my mind. The woman turned and shot her eye daggers at me again, and then twice more for good measure. But my empty stomach won out, and I decided to stay and eat. Instead of my usual taking time to chat with people after dinner, I finally followed my body’s nudging, went looking for the waiter, got the check, paid, bid adieu to everyone, and high tailed it out of there. The thing is, when I did that, almost the whole group got up at the same time and scattered in all directions, including the tissue toting woman.
Now what the heck was that all about? Boundaries, shmoundaries! Did I really need that learning experience when I was hungry, tired, and definitely not at the top of my game? Was the tissue insisting woman really a gift for me? Yes and yes. It was a pretty hilarious scenario, come to think of it (Hey Universe, I see that twinkle in your eye!). I have a feeling the boundary setting opportunities and lessons are going to keep showing up for me in all kinds of creative ways, because I sure need all the practice I can get.
In the meantime, every once in a while I’ll daydream about knights and vacations and energy boundary bouncers. . . .
Holistic Life Coaching, Mentoring, Healing
Vivi here, at dusk, gazing at the evening sky, VLogging and almost whispering so as not to disturb the flowers’ early slumber and the soft breathing of the wind in the trees. Good night, beautiful nature energies. Thank you for BEing and FREEing and LOVEing and GIVEing 🙂